It’s so hard to write this newsletter because there’s such pressure to grow the audience, create hooks, and this grow grow grow mentality. The internet has become a complete pile of 💩 beause everything has become about engagement, likes, ads, and to convert to selling something.

I’m going to recommit back to writing again as a way for me to document my journey. Thank you for those that have remained here, and for the paid supporters, it’s going straight to my continued work.

When my friend said that I was ready to read Bell Hook’s The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love, I glossed over it. It was when I got deeper into this men’s work that I realized how broken the line of men was and continues to be.

My own lineage is a line of men torn by war, colonization, and oppression by the ruling class. Within my body lies dormant the annhaliation energy, wrapped by the “imperialist white-supremacist capitalistic patriarchy.”

Those are fighting words, particularly when said aloud in America.

And yet, it was when I finally felt it in my body, the mask that I wore, to survive and thrive in the system, that the words

“I can’t breathe” broke free.

If you forgot, those were the words that George Floyd spoke out 20 times as a police officer knelt on his neck, until his life was snuffed out.

This mask I wear snuffs my lifeforce energy.

It pays me in money, title, wealth, and praise - and yet “I can’t breathe.”

Putting this mask down also pushes me into the threshold of death. If I don’t hold my shit together, then we’re all going to die.

I’ve gotten a second opinion, and third opinion, and drew replacement tarot cards, and all paths lead to becoming a wounded healer.

In my own journey, I’ve found it within myself, to be presence for random strangers who cross my path. Just a moment to acknowledge, validate, and presence their pain, not because I have the answer, because I have the capacity to be.

These small glimpses offer me a portal to a future where the medicine simply is to be present without ego, without the consultant fixing, and without judgement.

Yet, my path is approaching a climax of cracking open fully the gateway to the ancestral lines, the unspoken voices, and the cries snuffed out.

Optional only if you have the resources - I’ll be using the funds toward my personal healing with a goal of sharing the medicine with the world.